T - Minus 24 hours!

I went to the Doctor Tuesday for my pre-surgery regimen; blood test, urine sample, EKG. I felt like a car going through a diagnostic prior to getting its engine rebuilt. After the EKG the technician said "perfect". I asked if that was a diagnosis or rhetorical. "Rhetorical" was his answer. "But everything looks good", he added - whatever that means.

The nurse ran through the routine with me telling me the process. I have to arrive at the hospital at 5:15AM Thursday morning. I should shower, scrub and disinfect the "areas" before I come. The orderly will shave me... that's good and I hope they inform him that I'm just getting my knees worked on. She told me what to bring and what to leave home. She also informed me of what to expect from the medications that will be used and to take them whether I felt the need or not.

Five days in the hospital, seven in a rehab facility. I just want to get this thing over with. I am a little anxious and impatient to the point of being testy - I apologized to Marian last night for being grumpy. She understood - after all she has lived with me for almost 38 years. Grumpy has reared his ugly head before. I'm trying to get everything taken care of at home; bills and my chore list and I am trying to get a leg up on the business quarter at work - that has proven to be more difficult. In a way I feel I deserve five days in bed on drugs whatever the reason.

My friends, family and co-workers have been great and supportive. It's nice to know a lot of people care and are willing to share the load. I've been off any medication for nine days now including ibuprofen. There have been a couple times I could have used a handful. Marian brought home a new fuzzy robe for me to take to the hospital. I guess she thinks no one wants to see the back of my open gown - and I agree with her. Keegan said, "I didn't think you were a robe sort of guy Dad." I'm really not but I will wear one to protect the innocent. I'm not looking forward to spending Easter in the hospital. No ham nor fun family get together for me. I'm sure Marian will bring me a baggy full of malt balls as those are my favorite Easter candy. Sigh...

I'll write again on the backside of the surgery. I may have to dictate to Marian. Wish me luck.

Pioneers! O Pioneers!

Eight days away from surgery, at ten days out no more ibuprofen or blood thinning agents. I can take Tylenol. I’m not a real pill person so that doesn’t affect me too much. I made the mistake the other day of watching the surgery I am getting on You-Tube; UGH! It looked like something from shop class; saws, hammers, chisels, pins, glue…Oh My! No wonder they say it is painful. Despite the fact that I will be knocked out my bones will have some latent memory of the trauma. At this point I just want to get it done and quit processing it.

Many of you have expressed kind words of encouragement –I thank you for that. I didn’t realize I will have a nine-inch scar running down both my kneecaps. I hope they sew me up tight as I know I have to do a lot of bending in therapy and I don’t want my knee popping out of the slot! I want to thank all the knee surgery pioneers and guinea pigs that have gone before me to perfect this procedure. I hope they have perfected it by the time I lay on the operating table. 

Speaking of pioneers, I am confident there were many pioneers that walked hundreds of miles across the plains and over the Rockies on bad knees. They kept walking and plugging along and simply worked through the pain heading toward a better life. There was no knee-replacement surgery back then. There’s a lot of worthy soldiers that have lost their legs in the line of duty to preserve our freedom that would take my legs - bad knees and all. I’m simply a little anxious about all this and tend to tell myself the worst stories. 

I was telling Marian last night how much I will miss her – five days in the hospital, eight days in a rehab facility for PT. I know she will be a faithful visitor but I don’t expect her to sit by my bedside 24/7. I am not looking forward to down-time in a hospital bed. Hopefully I will be able to read or work on my book; of course that all depends on my lucidity on pain medication. Sometimes I think I am being a baby about all this and I apologize. I will have a better perspective when I get on the other side of the surgery and start feeling positive results. I promise to sing praises as equally as I have whined. I’ll shut up now and count my blessings for modern medicine, insurance, and supportive friends and family.

 Talk to you soon.

Oh Pleeease the Kneees!

I’m getting a double knee replacement surgery on March 28^th. I thought I would blog about my journey and my feelings going into this and coming out of it to perhaps help any of you out there that are considering the same procedure.  I will try and be honest and I apologize in advance for my bad humor which I am sure will be evident. Wish me luck (with the surgery not the writing).

“You’re getting old and things just start falling apart.” That was what my Doctor and friend Kirt Kimball told me about five years ago when I went to him about the pain in my right knee. Not what I wanted to hear. I began wondering what else on my body was falling apart.

It’s amazing what they can do these days by simply poking a couple of holes in your knee. Arthroscopic surgery has put a lot of cutters out of work. No longer are the days of the six inch scar down the center of your knee-cap; just a couple red spots that appear like fang marks from a wide-mouthed rattlesnake. Out-patient surgery in the morning and I was good enough of walk out of the hospital by lunch as soon as the anesthesia wore off.  Kirt later told me in a follow-up visit that he didn’t know how I even walked on that knee. It appeared my cartilage had been crushed like the traditional glass stomped on by a Jewish groom at the end of a wedding ceremony –Mazel-tov!  My knee did feel like it was full of glass pieces for about six months before I decided on the procedure.  You notice the ambiguous term we call a “Procedure”. I had a procedure. My wife is having a procedure. It allows us to intimate we are having something done by a doctor without having to make an admission. It’s much better than saying – I’m getting a colonoscopy or a nose job and have your friends look at you forming a visual.

It didn’t take too long after my procedure before I was walking normally and bending with confidence. Kneeling down on the repaired knee was a little tenuous but gradually that became bearable. The problem was that despite cleaning all the broken glass out of my knee I was also suffering from osteoarthritis. The surfaces of the knee joint were degenerating. Dr. Kimball did his best to smooth the surfaces out while he was in there but there was only so much he could do.

I was fine for a couple of years, but did favor the repaired knee. It was still difficult putting forward pressure on it while descending stairs; I am essentially bone-on-bone with the added bonus of no cartilage behind my kneecap. Ultimately I began to have the same symptoms in my left knee, the pain increased quickly and that broken glass in the knee feeling returned with vengeance. Last year I endured another arthroscopic procedure on my left knee. Unfortunately this time the pain did not seem to subside. The left knee never responded as well to the surgery. The pain from the osteoarthritis trumped the repair. So I just dealt with it.

Just “dealing with it” however deteriorated over the next year. Bending, kneeling and even walking without a limp became a chore. Repeated cortisone shots weren’t cutting it. The next step was to consider complete knee replacements. Work and other considerations delayed that decision for a while. To buy some time I opted for the Synvisc–One injection in each knee until I could work the surgery and the rehab period into my work schedule. For me, Synvisc-One was a bust. The shots were more painful than the quick prick cortisone shots as they had to pierce the synovial membrane. I could feel/hear the small pop when the large needle reached its target. I have a fairly high tolerance to pain but the shots still made me pucker. What exactly the Synvisc shot does and why is a mystery even to the doctors who administer it. It remained a mystery to me as it did absolutely nothing. At $1000 a knee I expected more and got nothing; no relief and no improvement- Oh well!

That was last fall - which brings us to today.

I am anxiously awaiting my DOUBLE knee replacement surgery on March 28^th.  At the recommendation of my friend and doctor, Kirt Kimball, I am having the ConforMIS personalized bi-compartmental knee implant. That’s fancy terminology for “Your knee is so screwed up and disintegrated we had to build you a new joint made from cobalt chromium molybdenum”.

The ConforMIS procedure is explained as follows:

iFit technology converts CT data into implants that are precisely sized and shaped to conform to the unique 3D structure of your joint.

iJig instrumentation uses the same data to create cutting and placement guides that help your surgeon determine the exact placement of your implant.  This reduces surgical time and minimizes the amount of bone cutting required.

S**t! did he say “bone cutting”?  iAm soooo not looking forward to this! And a JIG ? Are you kidding me? You‘ve got to cut my knee open, put a jig on the tip of my femur and tibia then cut the bones to receive my new bionic knee parts. Sheeesh! and Ouuuch!

So it seems everyone I talk to knows someone that has had a knee replacement. The stories are varied but mostly the talk was about how much the Physical Therapy (PT) hurt. “You will hate your therapist”, “They had to put me under a few weeks later to break up the scar tissue”, “You’re going to cry”, “You’re getting both knees done? OUCH”, “Having one knee done is like getting hit by a truck – having two done is having the truck back over you again”. Well thank you everyone for the encouragement.  I’m feeling a lot better now. Marian told me to quit researching and asking people about it. The comment that put me over the edge was (I apologize in advance for this) “You won’t be able to wipe your own butt!” I was really glad to hear that. C’mon, I didn’t need to know that. Of all the talk of pain, discomfort, PT in the Pit of Despair; what is bothering me most is this potty issue. Crap! (No pun intended) SIGH!

So I will work through all of these hurdles and look beyond the actual surgery and initial therapy to a better day sometime in May perhaps, when I can walk normally. The young punks I work with at Adobe said they are all chipping in to get me a Jazzy power chair – I don’t think so! If I have to use a walker they said they would supply the tennis balls to put on the end of the legs – I don’t think so! I feel so loved.

Needless to say I am a bit anxious. I’ve even wondered if I should get a will. HA! We tend to tell ourselves the worst stories. Honestly the pain on the back side of this surgery couldn’t be any worse than what I am feeling every day now. So I will soldier on. I promise to keep sharing – if anyone cares. I have decided what book I am going to read during the ordeal if I am lucid enough from pain killers – Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee.

Sticking With It

One of the things I tell salespeople during training is - If you get on the fence and crow like a rooster someone inevitably will throw a rock at you. So throw a rock if you feel inclined.

I've stuck with my New Years resolutions; at least for a month now. That's about 29 days more than any other year! So let me tell you...

I've written no less than an additional 73 pages in my book (almost 18,000 words). I'm still only 1/3 of the way to completion of the first draft but making progress rapidly. The story is starting to fill out and the characters are driving the plot. I've been reading a book that Marian gave me for Christmas titled "On Writing" by Stephen King; yes, THE Stephen King. I affectionately call him Steve. I'm always telling Marian, Steve said.." or "Last night Steve pointed out...". The book has been very helpful - Thank you Marian, and thank you Steve.

Anyway, Steve says... "When you let the characters drive the plot instead of the plot driving and confining the characters you'll have a better story." I proudly admit that my characters are driving the plot in my book. I know the basics of the story but I don't know how I'm going to get there yet. My characters keep telling me where it's going. I spent 3 hours the other night writing a scene about a battle between an Egyptian merchant ship, on which my characters are passengers, and some pirates in the Mediterranean Sea. Yes, Pirates! There were pirates then too. I did my research, which Steve says is critical. It turned out pretty good. COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO! First crow.

Marian and I embarked on a diet January 5th (like Marian needs to look better!) It has been helpful doing it together. It was a little difficult the other night watching Keegan eat Five Guys Burgers and Fries in front of us but we held firm. The scale said down 21 lbs. this morning even though I still look like Foghorn Leghorn. COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO! Second crow.

You can throw rocks now. NO more crowing.

I'm proud of myself for sticking with it. I am looking forward to a night off on my birthday. Is losing a total of 30 lbs. and writing 100 more pages possible by then? We'll see if I can Stick With It!.

Politics - NSFW

A friend of mine posted this quote on Facebook today;

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King

I don't want to write a political diatribe but I read the following today on MSNBC, and in honor of Dr. King I won't remain silent.

In the upstate city of Easley, the Rev. Brad Atkins, president of the South Carolina General Baptist Convention, has posted an email exchange on his church website with a local reporter on his objections to the LDS church. "Romney's Mormonism will be more a cause of concern than Gingrich's infidelity," Atkins wrote. Christians can forgive sin, the pastor said, "but will struggle to understand how anyone could be a Mormon and call themselves a Christian."

Are you kidding me! What incomprehensible ignorance! I am embarrassed for this man and offended. I think Martin Luther King would be offended. Excuse me, but I AM A MORMON! I believe in Jesus Christ. In fact, I belong to the "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints", and I am a Christian!

I am truly amazed at the ignorance that remains about my faith. That being said, disqualifying people for being unfit for the Presidency based on their religion is not even a factor. Nor is being Jewish, Catholic, Black, Chinese or Hispanic. Martin Luther King's entire message to the world was obviously lost on you Mr. Atkins.

The Movies

Marian and I went to see Warhorse last night, Marian for her second time. She had seen it earlier in the week with Natalie. So I have completed viewing the "big movie" releases over the holidays (at least the ones I wanted to see); We Bought a Zoo, Mission Impossible, Sherlock Holmes, Warhorse. Marian commented on the way home from Warhorse last night, "And people still feel like they have to go to war!". I had the exact same thought during the movie. There are many stories and movies with a scene where the enemy meets in no-mans land. The scene is the same; they find a common element - "humanity". They shake hands then continue killing each other. I'll never understand war.

Having said that you probably want to know which was my favorite, which one I would go see again...drumroll..."We bought a Zoo"! It was the first movie we saw of the four but I have to admit not my first choice to see. We went between Christmas and New Years. I like Matt Damon and I liked the story, and if Scarlett Johansson happens to be in the movie, that's ok too. I read they are making another "Bourne" movie but Matt Damon has opted out. I won't have much interest in seeing that one. All the movies were unique and I enjoyed each one for different reasons. Each was thoroughly entertaining.

I am always curious about the origin of a movie. At the end of the movie I look in the credits for "based on the novel by...". Some movies are original screenplays. Others are based on TV shows, comic characters or inspired by true events. The ones that interest me the most are those based on novels. I always wonder if the author envisioned a movie as he/she wrote the story. Are the characters they create molded from real actors they feel could play the part if the book became a movie? I know as I write (create), a black and white movie plays in my head and I try to describe what I see. The interesting part is that the movie is constantly being edited, it goes in many directions before I choose a path by describing in writing what I see in my minds eye.

I would love to write a book that became a movie. How fun! But actually I would thrill in just writing a story that someone read and liked. Guess I need to cut this short and get back to my book. There's a great movie in the making..."Based on the Novel by Rick Black!" COOL!

Welcome 2012!

It's been far too long since I posted anything in this blog. It is time to resurrect so I am starting fresh.

You will see at the right the most monumental events. New Son-in-law, new Daughter-in-law, and new graduate. There are a lot of back stories to each of these but so much has happened since my last post that it is impossible to fill in all the gaps. In general the family is good. Everyone is healthy and happy.

My New Years resolution (besides the weight thing for the umpteenth time) is to finish my book. My goal is to have the manuscript ready for the "Old Mans" annual fishing trip to Panguitch Lake in July. I plan on passing out copies to some of my best friends and mentors and have them edit away, or at least read it and comment. I think it's a great story, but then again I am the author!

I am sure 2012 will provide plenty of fodder and humor to entertain me anyway. Your comments are always welcome even if it's "this article sucks!" That's OK. I want to dedicate most of my writing time to finishing the aforementioned book, so I can't promise how often I will write in here but I am rededicating myself. (As if there were thousands of readers anxiously awaiting my next written words - HA!)

This is still an exercise for me in creative writing; repeat -for me. Your attendance is optional.

~~~

I turn 59 next month...hummm!? Not quite sure how happy I am about that. Probably more happy than I will be next year when I turn 60. I guess I should be glad I am turning anything. Speaking of turning. That weight thing. Yes it's time, it's really time. I have foregone any thoughts of impressing people with my rippled muscles as I do chin-ups on the high bar in Venice Beach. Ain't gonna happen! I am just tired of impressing people how someone as large as me can actually squeeze into a restaurant booth. Fat people usually sit at the tables. There, I said it; fat people. "Hi my name is Rick and I am a fat person" -the first step. It's not a 12 week program it's a life change. The first milestone is a year, this is long term. Wish me luck and light candles in church for me (figuratively). Enough said about that.

Keegan, our youngest graduated from high school last spring. He is taking some time off school and working hard hoping to get into BYU's art program in the spring this year. My reason for mentioning that is the fact that the house chemistry has changed forever. We are blessed to see our kids frequently but there are a lot of evenings spent alone. We're entering that next phase of life. I can't believe how quickly it has come.

I had an idea for another book; that would be four books at some phase of progress. I need to at least write my thoughts down so I don't forget the premise but I am committed to finish one before I begin a fourth. I was laying in bed the other night when I started to think about all the stories I knew about my Dad and those I assume I know and can elaborate. I thought it would make an interesting book about two brothers growing up in San Diego in the 20's and 30's with a single Mom, then going off to war, returning to marry and start families blah blah blah. There you have it - premise. I think I can make my Dad more of hero than he already is to me. There would be considerable artistic license but I don't think he'll mind.

Signing off for now. Hope you'll join me next time. If not, the real joy for me is in the writing, not the reader reading.