Nothing makes me laugh harder than to witness people falling down. The only thing funnier is when Marian sees it and I get to watch her uncontrollable laughter.
For our trip to San Diego I needed some new flips flops and waited to get some in Southern California figuring I would have a better selection. WRONG! All sold-out and not a thing I liked on the shelves. I ended up buying some slip-on sailing style shoe's. The idea was to just get something I didn't care about getting wet, sandy or muddy. These had those cool non-slip soles. I was so proud of them and modeled them in the hotel room before going to the beach making everyone tell me how good they looked. I was concerned they made me look like a middle-aged tourist. My family managed to prop up my insecurity and stroke my ego. About 2 hours later I managed to destroy it.
Natalie, my oldest daughter, and I were walking along the rocks at the tide pools in La Jolla. We were talking, I'm sure, of something of global importance and lagging behind the rest of the family. (Good thing) I had my hands in my shorts pockets and was walking slowly along stepping over small crevices in the rocks and avoiding the clear pools of water in the small hollows. I noticed the rocks were wet where I was walking and had full confidence in my brand new non-slip sailing shoes. WRONG! - Second mistake of the day. It's funny how quick you go down when you hit a patch of green algae on wet rocks.
I have been blessed with above average athletic ability and lightning quick reflexes; albeit a 54 year old reflex at this writing. In a nano-second I went into what appeared to be the old high school football "whistle drill".
At the sound of the whistle you hit the ground on your stomach and bounce up running until the next whistle. It wasn't quite that smooth. Yes, I started to go down hard, face first. I don't know how I managed to get my hands out of my pockets in time to catch myself and avoid french-kissing some barnacles. I must have looked like I was doing semaphore at warp speed. Now on all fours I was trying to avoid the inevitable face plant and smearing algae all over myself. Actually, like all egotist athletes I was trying to make it look natural and come out of it as if it were an advanced Olympic floor-tumbling exercise. No such luck. I was slipping and sliding like a deer on ice. You couldn't tell if I was trying to finger paint on all-fours or imitating a drunk spider doing push-ups! I finally managed to create friction with two of my limbs and develop some traction. I saved it! No face plant. I slowly worked my way to my feet, stood tall and acted as if I had planned it that way.
Natalie is her mother's daughter. Raucous laughter echoed off the rocks of the nearby cliffs. She had just witnessed the $100,000 winner of America's Funniest Home Video's. Bummer -no video camera present. I am sure I made the old people at the picnic tables above laugh too. They probably come there every day and sit there just waiting for some gringo like me to hit that patch of algae and go down like a flopping tuna on a sport fishing boat. I was no worse for wear and had managed to not tear any muscles or clothing in the process. Best of all, my ego was still intact, despite my daughters guffaws. I'm just glad the whole family didn't witness it. I would have been the topic of conversation, imitation and laughter the whole weekend. Just a private show for you Natalie!
