"Delightfully Tacky - Yet Unrefined"

I saw a guy in a Hooters shirt the back of which stated, "Delightfully Tacky - Yet Unrefined". That about sums it up. I looked on the Hooters website to see if that was a trademark statement or just simply a fact. I learned that there is a Hooters Lifestyle Section, what could that be? I didn't bother to look. There is a Gallery and the Hooters Girl-of-the-Month and a shop-online section for all the great orange Hooters gear from calendars, coffee mugs to golf bags. You can even get you own personalized Hooters Visa Card. You've got to be kidding me! Despite how I have started off here this is not an article about Hooters. It could be. Hooters is just symptomatic of another issue.

I grew up in California. Not that everything in California is cool but since moving to Utah a whole new side of what I would call "Americana" has been revealed to me. It's not unique to Utah (although Utah has some Americana uniqueness itself) Maybe it's because a lot of Utah is "country". Outside of Salt Lake there isn't a lot of urban sprawl. Most of urban Utah is touched by and borders the "country" and everything that comes with it. I apologize to you people that might consider yourselves country folk. You can write your own blog about those of us who grew up in urban sprawl on the California coast if you want. If not, just sit down, read and laugh with me here a minute.

I was never one to sport designer clothes too much. I never relished the thought of being a walking billboard for the likes of Ralph Lauren, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Gucci, Dior, Armani or Nordstrom for that matter. OK, I did buy a pair of Gucci slip-ons once in New York when I was a stock trader. Frankly I liked the look of the little gold trademark Gucci buckle across the front of the shoe. And I own an Armani tie my wife got me at the thrift store for a quarter. I don't think that qualifies me as a fashion icon.

But I have to say this, clothing by Cabela's, Browning or Big-5 doesn't qualify either. Yet these logos are worn with the same pride an 80's yuppie wears the Polo horse on his/her chest. OK, maybe that's not extreme enough to explain what I am trying to say here. Let me try and hit a little closer to the target. What's with the decal on the back window of trucks with the little kid peeing on everything from a Ford logo to the words "my ex-wife"? And I love the chrome nude lady on the mud-flaps. It just doesn't get much more unrefined than that.

I can take or leave tattoos, mostly leave; but when I see someone with a tattoo creeping up out of their shirt and up the side of their neck like the mystery plague I have to say, the words "delightfully tacky" do come to mind. It always makes me wonder what it's growing out of....eeeeewwwww!

I like hats , but when I see a man who looks like he's a quart low all the time because from his nose up he is butt-white because he never takes his hat off, it makes me wonder. We go from Yankees and Dodgers to CAT and John Deere - I know those are two of my favorite teams! How about "Sexy Senior Citizen". There's nothing sexy about a senior citizen. There's nothing even funny about using those words in the same sentence, let alone having them emblazoned on the front of your hat. What about the 60 year-old lady with the glitter shirt that says, " I hit the Jackpot in Wendover!" Darn, I'm sorry I missed that trip. I'll bet that was fun. I would hate to admit I got my tennis elbow from a slot machine.

Where do some of these people get name books when they have children? Not at the Barnes and Noble I shop at! I guess if your name is Dale and you have a daughter it's OK to change the spelling to Dael and call it good. Or Darryl becomes Darelle... whatever works. Shontay, or is it Shontae! Laverle, Gaylene, Heavenly-Treasure, Lawanda, Shandalyn, Chewbacca.....gad zooks! Give your poor child a break. Life is tough enough without living with names you have to explain.

Willya borrow me a pencil? Lets go upta Salt Lake. Let's go downta St.George. We played a good game but they wunnus. Won us? And my personal favorite, my daughter goes to the BYU. "The" BYU? Is that the same thing as going to the Harvard or the Stanford?


Jeff Foxworthy does a much better job at this. But I just had to give it my two cents. "Delightfully Tacky - Yet Unrefined" is alive and well in the Utah.