The Ocean

I grew up with the smell of the ocean in my nostrils daily. It was in the air, the fog... it was in my soul. Not that I am a mariner who wants to go to sea and spend weeks and months at a time. But the ocean is every bit a part of me as a true mariner. I saw the ocean each day of my life growing up in San Diego. I just had to look west. I have great memories of the beach, the waves, the sand, the people, the fires, the laughter. The ocean was spring break, summer, music; a happy, active, energetic time of my life.

...I live in the mountains now.

I miss the ocean. I am Pisces. I have an intrinsic love of water. Pisces are governed by a duality, a struggle of the spiritual soul within the physical body. Two fish swimming in opposite directions... That's another blog completely. This is about the ocean.

The ocean invigorates me. It inspires me. It heals me. It makes me think bigger thoughts. It makes me want to throw off my self-imposed limits of thinking and accomplishment. It makes me want to be better, grow, succeed, reach-out, expand, create. The primordial soup is an elixir my soul welcomes and wantonly drinks. When I am physically in the ocean I feel my body absorbing it's strength and life. I can float and swim for hours. I dive and let it envelop me like caressing, caring, therapeutic hands. Each wave brings new feeling, new hope, new messages, rejuvenation, renewal.

I miss the ocean. I need the ocean. Of all the things I could think of doing right now, none would be as powerful, gratifying and healing as swimming against the oncoming waves of the ocean. I never actually swim against the waves. That's why I am good at it. I swim with them. I let them carry me, lift me, lower me, flow over and through me. It's a relationship, a dance. A giving and taking. I receive more than I give. I let the ocean wash the poison and pain away. Take with it the struggle and hurt. It allows me to walk away better and happier. With a few last kisses of my feet as I walk onto dry land.

The ocean is never innately angry. At times the ocean simply needs to throw off the anger and poison and self-defeat it has absorbed from people who have let her take it from us.

...I live in the mountains now.