Who is Hank Hill voting for?

Politics is not the first thing you would think Hank, Dale, Boomhauer and Bill are talking about in the alley while having a cold one. But like every other blue-blooded American it is not far from their lips. In fact one of Hanks favorite sayings is, "Nobody likes a knowitall who sits around talking about their genitalia." Do you think Hank was discussing politics when he made that statement? It caused me to pause and think, "Who would Hank Hill vote for".

So with some conjecture and analysis and a lot of tongue-in-cheek I will attempt to put a ballot in their hands and get them to speak out. It should prove to be interesting and potentially thought provoking. Hank and the boys have become American Icons. They are real, everyday people we all know. They are so believable to us that we think that we could drive down to Arlen and find them standing in the alley on a warm Texas evening. As for myself, I would love to stand there shoulder to shoulder holding my own cold one (in my case a Mountain Dew, although Hank besides beer probably only has Dr Pepper in the fridge) and join in the banter, challenge their political beliefs and get them to speak up and tell us what they think. My apologies in advance to creator Mike Judge.

Dale is the owner of "Dales Dead Bug" extermination service. Dale is a chain smoker and loves golf. He is a conspiracy theorist and believes government is out to get us. "Guns don't kill people. The Government does." Dale is paranoid. Dale is a card carrying member of the NRA. Golf and guns would make him a Republican but Dale trusts no one... "You really believe they landed on the moon?" Dale is a veteran. Dale supports the troops but most likely thinks we should drop the bomb because they eventually find the weapons of mass destruction. He voted for Bush but that not being an option he is leaning toward McCain the hawk. But POW's are pussies who couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag so he is torn. Dale doesn't believe anyone is qualified to lead the country. He would vote for Oliver Stone if he could, because Oliver "gets it". He really wishes Cheney was running "cuz that ol' boy can shoot!

Boomhauer has an IQ of a hockey score. He talks like mumbles on Dick Tracy. I think Boomhauer did too many drugs. He loves NASCAR and naked chicks on the internet. He voted for Clinton and was pissed he got caught with Monica. "Dang ol' Bill man that's Bills business". He wishes Ricky Bobby was running cuz Ricky's a winner. And dang we need a winner in the White House! Boomhauer won't get around to voting because he'll be busy working on his car

Bill is like a deer caught in the headlights and will vote for pretty much anyone Hank tells him to vote for. Bill is a Barber for the Armed Forces of America. He also supports the troops and has a yellow ribbon and a flag on the tree in his front yard but can't remember why they are there. Bill voted for Ross Perot in 1992 because he thought Perot made sense... "If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes." That made perfect sense to Bill and made him laugh. Bill won't vote for Mitt Romney because, "I like beer. Don't you like beer? I mean, I love beer." Romney's a Mormon and they don't drink beer.

The burning question still remains. Who will Hank Hill vote for? Hank's a conservative. He's a Republican. He sells propane -clean fuel. He most likely agrees with Al Gore on global warming but won't get on the bandwagon until he sees icebergs floating in Galveston Bay. Hank is pissed we haven't won the war in Iraq and thinks we made a mistake. Hank is for Gay Rights, "They have the right to leave and go to France!" He worries gays will have an negative influence on his son Bobby. The Immigration issue can be solved with a wall like the Chinese did to the Mongols. Peggy, Hanks wife is a big influence on Hank. Peggy is outspoken and an activist. She's the moral compass of moral compasses. Peg is a Democrat. "That Barack is smooth but I just don't know about him," she will say. Peg would counsel Hank to vote for Hillary Clinton. Hank will acquiesce to her request, much to Peg's delight but once in the booth Hank will vote for Rudy Giuliani "Because voting is a private issue and you don't have to tell anyone who you voted for, even Peg." That means Bill will vote for Rudy too but wonder why he's voting for an Italian.

Hank would tell all of us to vote our conscience. He wouldn't argue with your choice, he would be happy that you exercised your right as an American citizen to vote. He would hope you would vote for people that would allow him to stand shoulder to shoulder with his best friends in the back alley, have a beer and have the freedom of speech to talk or complain about anything. I agree.