Another Agonizing SHOOTOUT!

Reprinted from Utah Rangers Website May 24th 2007

'93 Rangers Beat Unbeatable #1 State Cup Seed To Advance To Semi Finals

It took the Rangers '93 team ten minutes in the opening half to calm down after the referee's whistle opened the match. In a game considered the "match of death" by the the other six quarter finalist U14 teams gathered to watch the overtime match at Lakeside Park on Wednesday, the grim reaper tapped out the Rangers '93 Premier team to face the #1 seeded Sparta Premier team. On paper Sparta appeared unbeatable. On the field the Rangers proved otherwise.

A 2-1 pool-play loss to Wasatch Shock forced the Rangers into a quarter final match against a formidable Sparta team, the defending state cup champions. It wasn't until David Hardman beat the Sparta right wing defender at the 15 minute mark that the Rangers organized enough attacking play that resulted in two dangerous shots on goal and a second half push with two one-v-one's by Winston Sorhaitz and David Hardman only to be turned back Sparta's talented keeper to preserve the tie and force the overtime and shootout.

Ranger Shooter #1, Ryan Wilson, placed the ball into the lower right corner and Keegan Black followed with a save of Sparta's first shooter. Ranger forward Winstons Sorhaitz and Defender Parker Lopp gave Sparta a one goal advantage when they knocked both their shots over the crossbar forcing a decision on Sparta's fifth shooter. Luck prevailed when Sparta shot wide, sending the decision into extra shots. Josue Cisneros was good for the Ranger's sixth shot but Sparta answered with an equalizing goal. In rare dramatic fashion, Ranger midfielder Lincoln Salmon's seventh shot was saved, but the referee whistled the goalkeeper was off his line early and Salmon knotted his second try while Sparta lost the match when their seventh shooter went wide.

Well done Rangers '93. Now its on to a Semi Final win on Friday.

"Delightfully Tacky - Yet Unrefined"

I saw a guy in a Hooters shirt the back of which stated, "Delightfully Tacky - Yet Unrefined". That about sums it up. I looked on the Hooters website to see if that was a trademark statement or just simply a fact. I learned that there is a Hooters Lifestyle Section, what could that be? I didn't bother to look. There is a Gallery and the Hooters Girl-of-the-Month and a shop-online section for all the great orange Hooters gear from calendars, coffee mugs to golf bags. You can even get you own personalized Hooters Visa Card. You've got to be kidding me! Despite how I have started off here this is not an article about Hooters. It could be. Hooters is just symptomatic of another issue.

I grew up in California. Not that everything in California is cool but since moving to Utah a whole new side of what I would call "Americana" has been revealed to me. It's not unique to Utah (although Utah has some Americana uniqueness itself) Maybe it's because a lot of Utah is "country". Outside of Salt Lake there isn't a lot of urban sprawl. Most of urban Utah is touched by and borders the "country" and everything that comes with it. I apologize to you people that might consider yourselves country folk. You can write your own blog about those of us who grew up in urban sprawl on the California coast if you want. If not, just sit down, read and laugh with me here a minute.

I was never one to sport designer clothes too much. I never relished the thought of being a walking billboard for the likes of Ralph Lauren, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Gucci, Dior, Armani or Nordstrom for that matter. OK, I did buy a pair of Gucci slip-ons once in New York when I was a stock trader. Frankly I liked the look of the little gold trademark Gucci buckle across the front of the shoe. And I own an Armani tie my wife got me at the thrift store for a quarter. I don't think that qualifies me as a fashion icon.

But I have to say this, clothing by Cabela's, Browning or Big-5 doesn't qualify either. Yet these logos are worn with the same pride an 80's yuppie wears the Polo horse on his/her chest. OK, maybe that's not extreme enough to explain what I am trying to say here. Let me try and hit a little closer to the target. What's with the decal on the back window of trucks with the little kid peeing on everything from a Ford logo to the words "my ex-wife"? And I love the chrome nude lady on the mud-flaps. It just doesn't get much more unrefined than that.

I can take or leave tattoos, mostly leave; but when I see someone with a tattoo creeping up out of their shirt and up the side of their neck like the mystery plague I have to say, the words "delightfully tacky" do come to mind. It always makes me wonder what it's growing out of....eeeeewwwww!

I like hats , but when I see a man who looks like he's a quart low all the time because from his nose up he is butt-white because he never takes his hat off, it makes me wonder. We go from Yankees and Dodgers to CAT and John Deere - I know those are two of my favorite teams! How about "Sexy Senior Citizen". There's nothing sexy about a senior citizen. There's nothing even funny about using those words in the same sentence, let alone having them emblazoned on the front of your hat. What about the 60 year-old lady with the glitter shirt that says, " I hit the Jackpot in Wendover!" Darn, I'm sorry I missed that trip. I'll bet that was fun. I would hate to admit I got my tennis elbow from a slot machine.

Where do some of these people get name books when they have children? Not at the Barnes and Noble I shop at! I guess if your name is Dale and you have a daughter it's OK to change the spelling to Dael and call it good. Or Darryl becomes Darelle... whatever works. Shontay, or is it Shontae! Laverle, Gaylene, Heavenly-Treasure, Lawanda, Shandalyn, Chewbacca.....gad zooks! Give your poor child a break. Life is tough enough without living with names you have to explain.

Willya borrow me a pencil? Lets go upta Salt Lake. Let's go downta St.George. We played a good game but they wunnus. Won us? And my personal favorite, my daughter goes to the BYU. "The" BYU? Is that the same thing as going to the Harvard or the Stanford?


Jeff Foxworthy does a much better job at this. But I just had to give it my two cents. "Delightfully Tacky - Yet Unrefined" is alive and well in the Utah.

Who is Hank Hill voting for?

Politics is not the first thing you would think Hank, Dale, Boomhauer and Bill are talking about in the alley while having a cold one. But like every other blue-blooded American it is not far from their lips. In fact one of Hanks favorite sayings is, "Nobody likes a knowitall who sits around talking about their genitalia." Do you think Hank was discussing politics when he made that statement? It caused me to pause and think, "Who would Hank Hill vote for".

So with some conjecture and analysis and a lot of tongue-in-cheek I will attempt to put a ballot in their hands and get them to speak out. It should prove to be interesting and potentially thought provoking. Hank and the boys have become American Icons. They are real, everyday people we all know. They are so believable to us that we think that we could drive down to Arlen and find them standing in the alley on a warm Texas evening. As for myself, I would love to stand there shoulder to shoulder holding my own cold one (in my case a Mountain Dew, although Hank besides beer probably only has Dr Pepper in the fridge) and join in the banter, challenge their political beliefs and get them to speak up and tell us what they think. My apologies in advance to creator Mike Judge.

Dale is the owner of "Dales Dead Bug" extermination service. Dale is a chain smoker and loves golf. He is a conspiracy theorist and believes government is out to get us. "Guns don't kill people. The Government does." Dale is paranoid. Dale is a card carrying member of the NRA. Golf and guns would make him a Republican but Dale trusts no one... "You really believe they landed on the moon?" Dale is a veteran. Dale supports the troops but most likely thinks we should drop the bomb because they eventually find the weapons of mass destruction. He voted for Bush but that not being an option he is leaning toward McCain the hawk. But POW's are pussies who couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag so he is torn. Dale doesn't believe anyone is qualified to lead the country. He would vote for Oliver Stone if he could, because Oliver "gets it". He really wishes Cheney was running "cuz that ol' boy can shoot!

Boomhauer has an IQ of a hockey score. He talks like mumbles on Dick Tracy. I think Boomhauer did too many drugs. He loves NASCAR and naked chicks on the internet. He voted for Clinton and was pissed he got caught with Monica. "Dang ol' Bill man that's Bills business". He wishes Ricky Bobby was running cuz Ricky's a winner. And dang we need a winner in the White House! Boomhauer won't get around to voting because he'll be busy working on his car

Bill is like a deer caught in the headlights and will vote for pretty much anyone Hank tells him to vote for. Bill is a Barber for the Armed Forces of America. He also supports the troops and has a yellow ribbon and a flag on the tree in his front yard but can't remember why they are there. Bill voted for Ross Perot in 1992 because he thought Perot made sense... "If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes." That made perfect sense to Bill and made him laugh. Bill won't vote for Mitt Romney because, "I like beer. Don't you like beer? I mean, I love beer." Romney's a Mormon and they don't drink beer.

The burning question still remains. Who will Hank Hill vote for? Hank's a conservative. He's a Republican. He sells propane -clean fuel. He most likely agrees with Al Gore on global warming but won't get on the bandwagon until he sees icebergs floating in Galveston Bay. Hank is pissed we haven't won the war in Iraq and thinks we made a mistake. Hank is for Gay Rights, "They have the right to leave and go to France!" He worries gays will have an negative influence on his son Bobby. The Immigration issue can be solved with a wall like the Chinese did to the Mongols. Peggy, Hanks wife is a big influence on Hank. Peggy is outspoken and an activist. She's the moral compass of moral compasses. Peg is a Democrat. "That Barack is smooth but I just don't know about him," she will say. Peg would counsel Hank to vote for Hillary Clinton. Hank will acquiesce to her request, much to Peg's delight but once in the booth Hank will vote for Rudy Giuliani "Because voting is a private issue and you don't have to tell anyone who you voted for, even Peg." That means Bill will vote for Rudy too but wonder why he's voting for an Italian.

Hank would tell all of us to vote our conscience. He wouldn't argue with your choice, he would be happy that you exercised your right as an American citizen to vote. He would hope you would vote for people that would allow him to stand shoulder to shoulder with his best friends in the back alley, have a beer and have the freedom of speech to talk or complain about anything. I agree.

Hail the Graduate!

As a parent I have many hopes for my children. The achievement of those hopes are mostly up to them. You try and provide them an environment of love, peace and learning where they can develop self-confidence and ambition. Once they become mentally independent and then actually move out on their own there’s not much else you can do. You hope you’ve raised good citizens, taught them the value of hard work and that in the end they will become self-sufficient. All the rest is gravy.

Kind, sweet and tender as a little girl, Hilary has always shown strength of conviction. She has been generous and loving to her brothers and sisters. She is a bit stubborn and quick to show her emotions. Her opinions are equally based on fact and feeling. Through the genes of her good mother she has a deep social consciousness and desire for fairness in the lives of her fellow human being. She is a loyal friend. She is independent and solution minded. Handy at home and car repairs, she could be called a “Miss Fix-it”. I am not at all surprised that she just earned her degree from the College of Social and Behavioral Science at the University of Utah.

Hilary has a long list of accomplishment to her credit. Shortly after graduating from high school she moved out and began working and attending classes at the University of Utah. Immediately she was self-sufficient. Always the saver and the best of all our children with her personal budget; she paid her rent on time, made her car payment, paid for car repairs and always seemed to have enough left to take annual trips to places like Europe, Hawaii and Costa Rica, all while plowing through a tough university schedule.

After a year or so of college she felt the desire to serve a mission for the LDS church. She was called to the Romania, Bucharest mission. She learned a difficult language and served in a handful of cities throughout Romania spending her last six months in Moldova. She gained a great testimony of the gospel and a deep love for the Romanian people.

Back home after 18 months out of the country she tackled school and became focused once again on her education. Plowing forward, struggling, and taking a step at a time a day at a time she has finally made it. It has been hard work but she has had a lot of fun along the way. An avid reader and movie fan she always has a book or two she is reading and a stack of DVD’s to watch. She has tempered her journey by rewarding herself with frequent Dave Matthew’s concerts and the anticipation of the next “road trip”.

I am sure as she looks back she is satisfied with her accomplishments, but by her nature, insecure about the next step and opportunity. Well done Hilary! You are a great example. You have made us all proud. Look well toward the future. Let your accomplishments of the past give you confidence in your abilities for the future.

Like I said; if your children turn out to be good citizens, know the value of hard work and are self-sufficient, as a parent you feel like you have succeeded. The rest is gravy. Hilary – you have filled the gravy boat! Congratulations graduate!

…So when’s the next Dave Matthews concert and where’s the next road trip taking you?

Illegal Immigrants

Today on MSNBC there was an article entitled, "Immigrant rights groups rally across the U.S." Here is the link, http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18411370/

While personally I harbor no ill-will to any specific group of people, I am troubled by the current situation. My opinions and convictions run deep. I decided to post a comment to that article which I am publishing here as well. I will let the article and my comments speak for themselves.

It appears that the people that "don't have the courage", to quote Angelica Salas, "to resolve a major situation", is not the American Congress. It is the illegals themselves who have chosen to break the laws and are now demanding Congress fix it for them. Sorry- it never worked that way for us in middle-America. I knew what the laws were, I chose to break them and now I want Congress to fix it for me!? What kind of logic is that? I came here illegally and therefore I have the right to engage in identity theft and use someone else's Social Security number illegally to obtain work? Boy Angelica, you're right, Congress better get right on that because there are currently no laws protecting all of us legal owners of Social Security cards. This issue will not be brushed under the rug during the upcoming Presidential campaign. This will be a huge issue. The silent majority will speak with a loud and unified voice with their votes. And that is a whole lot more than 12 million people! I hope we have a leader in the White House that will have the "huevos" (to coin a phrase) to man-up and deal with this head-on. Maybe true enforcement of existing laws would be a good start. This is the land of the free and it is for everyone. "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, ..." is not exclusionary. As a citizen of this country I believe this inscription on our Statue of Liberty applies to all people. But just like at Ellis Island; get in line, sign up, do it right. Then there won't be a "major situation". What illegals fail to realize is that in large part, freedom in a true democracy is obtained first, by obedience to existing laws. Not willful disobedience and demanding change because the laws are not convenient. If that's not the case, then I am going to begin to seriously speed on the freeway and demand that Congress fix my tickets and give me and my people the right to speed!

- Richard Black, legal US Citizen.