So we finally get the "beater" truck I've always wanted. The piece of crap '87 Ford F150 with good tires, a trailer hitch and a heater that works; What else do you need, right? The gas gauge doesn't work. It goes from half-full to empty around the block. So you really never know when it's quite on empty. I found out today on the freeway, halfway to work that when it says "empty" it's really empty.

I was clipping along at a brisk 60 miles an hour in the right lane. There's no need to push a beater; people expect you to go slow in a truck like that. You see, the only thing missing in this picture is three Mexicans with white cowboy hats in the front seat and a truck-bed full of grass clippings! Anyway...chug, chug, OH Crap! I really am out of gas. I turned on my flashers and pulled off to the side of the freeway. All is not lost as I was smart enough to keep a gas can (with gas!) in the back of the truck. This should just take a minute. Why does the term "WRONG!" occur so much to me lately?

I realize that the size of the can and the fact that the spout is too stubby won't allow the spout to reach into the gas cap filler. No worries! I have a funnel in the tool box. I retrieve the keys out of the ignition so I can unlock the tool box. You have to understand that I am on the freeway side of the truck. The cars are whizzing by at 70 miles an hour a mere 4-5 feet away, AND, it is about ZERO degrees outside. I am freezing my A off! I fiddle with the little key on the key chain and try to insert it into the small lock. WRONG! It's frozen shut. Hummm?! I'll just go to the other side. I walk around the truck and find the same results, frozen lock. This is not good. Then I notice that the lock on the box is actually turned sideways into the open position. I push the black button and HA the box opens. Only problem is that the freakin' funnel is clear on the other side of the box and I can't reach it. It's getting colder.

I stare at it for 5 minutes trying to figure out a way to get it. I try throwing one end of the battery cables at it to hook it. That's a joke. I'm hosed. I figure I'll just wait in the truck until the Incident Management truck comes by to help me manage my incident. But I'm a guy. I can figure this out.

I spot a long twig about 3 feet down the embankment laying in the snow. Thought - long twig inserted into bottom of funnel 4 feet away will allow me to lift it and pull it over to the open side of the box. SOLUTION! You have to know what's coming here. Yes. I step down the embankment, slip, fall and slide about 10 feet on my butt. OK - It's 7:15 in the morning, freezing cold. Can someone cut me SOME SLACK HERE!!!! I find my upper teeth pressing hard into my lower lip fffforming the ffffirst letter of a primal word that wants to LEAP OUT OF MY MOUTH!

OK- I take a deep breath, check my anger, grab the twig and start back up the bank. The twig works. I am reminded of the chimpanzees that stick twigs down the openings of ant colonies, pull them out and eat the ants stuck to the twig. Animals using tools! Rick using tools!

I jam the funnel into the filler cap and pour in the gas. My fingers are freezing. I chuck the funnel and the now empty gas can into the back of the truck, climb back in the cab and turn the key......YES! Ignition! I'm off. Enough gas to get me to the gas station. I do remember to fill up the gas can again.

There is a bright side. I figure at least I had a gas can with gas in it. And I probably made some one's morning start with laughter as I am sure at least a few people saw me tumble down the embankment. I am 45 minutes late for work so I figure what's another 20 so I might as well write this down and share it.

The Lord, in his wisdom, gives us challenges and the ability to overcome them. I overcame this morning! I am glad my ancestors learned how to use a twig as a tool and passed that knowledge down to me.